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Giving Myself Permission to Royally Screw It Up

Part of my ongoing journey of living life a new, less fearful way, is doing things that scare me, especially on the creative side of my life. I’ve always struggled with being expressive (I’m much more comfortable with editing something that is already there instead of coming up with something brand new). It’s taken a lot of inner work, deep breathing and years of journaling just to work through the anxiety and remnants of childhood bullying to actually be able to start to express myself and get something out of me.

As many know, I’ve done National Novel Writers Month twice, finishing it successfully in 2017. As I’m trying to challenge myself, I’ve signed up for February Album Writers Month (FAWM) where the goal is to write and record 14 songs in 28 days. I have never written songs before (although I have written a bunch of instrumental dance tunes), and am doing this basically to move through 14 pieces that I just feel I have to get through and not have my internal critic stop me from producing anything. I’m giving myself permission to say that everything will be terrible, and be surprised when I’ve got something that I might be able to improve afterwards.

I’ve got a Soundcloud account and will be posting what I’ve done on there. I’m also trying to figure out how to use GarageBand on my Mac to record it all.

Like so much of life, I’m trying to put myself out there and just do things right now, blogging included. I just have to keep producing material, and hope that I will develop as a byproduct of it, and that also I will start to get other like-minded people to also find it.

It’s another adventure for a new part of my life. I know that I’m developing into a new person now, and I don’t know what it will look like or turn into. I’m just trying to be here now and notice what’s happening in my life right now.

Maybe I can write a song about that…..

Want to follow along and see what I’ve come up with? You can follow me on Soundcloud, and here’s the first thing I posted:

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